


To be worth her love

by Kinkfiction



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Blackwall's romance, Cute things, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 11:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3118151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kinkfiction/pseuds/Kinkfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles of mine revolving around Blackwall and Aria Trevelyan. With maybe some occasional smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hero

Upon meeting Aria for the first time the two became instant friends and he valued her friendship and the trust she put in him dearly. However, she also gave him this burning feeling in his chest that felt like a sun had been tied to his heart. It hurt so much some days it took all his strength not to just walk up and kiss her in hopes that it would quell the raging fire within him. Not that should mind he figured, she wasn’t subtle about her attraction to him. But he had no illusions of who he was; he was the blight and to touch her would be to corrupt something beautiful. So being her friend would just have to do, and he just hoped his past would kill him before the sun she had placed in his chest did.  
Yet still this brought no comfort to his mind nor his burning heart when he finally rejected her only days after reaching Skyhold. Even now as he walked in the pale moon light with the cool night air biting his lungs and seeping into his bones, all he could think about was her. He avoided her after, making sure he was out of site when she was around. It was childish, but he knew if he saw those honey eyes his resolve would crumble and his wall would crack under the ocean feelings he had for her. He could still smell her in his nose; the scent of lilac and cinnamon with the hint of honeysuckle. Memories of Haven and how she would sneak up on him and playfully tackle him; it was how she started most their conversations.  
A metallic clang rung out into the air followed curses from an all too familiar voice. Blackwall turned on his heel and moved towards the sounds. It would seem he didn’t need to see her face for her to break his resolve. There in the small alcove where new recruits trained was his desert rose from the Marches. Steel reflected the moonlight and her sweet eyes were red from tears. Even from his distance he could smell the whiskey. Her swings were wild and focused on one poor dummy who had to suffer her ire.  
Blackwall frowned, “Aria?” he said softly letting himself be known.  
Aria stopped mid charge and looked at him before letting out a sickly laugh, “Of course you would come now.”  
“My Lady…is this about –”  
“No, this has nothing to do with you. I’m a big fucking girl I can handle rejection just fucking fine.”  
His heart collapsed as her words cut through him as if they were the sharpest blades to ever be forged. He watched her drop her greatsword, the loud clang it made caused him to flinch. He felt like it was him dropping her heart. She staggered over to a bottle of whiskey that was still stood up. She took a swig before throwing the bottle against the Keep’s wall.  
“You know some people are so lucky in love. Some find love only once and they stay with that love until their last breath is pulled from their bodies. Some love twice; something happens the first time around but the spirits are kind and they find someone new. But then there’s fuckers like me. We get shat on.” Her eyes looked like glass in the pale light.  
Blackwall closed the gap between them but didn’t dare reach out for her, he had no right after what he did., “Please, tell me what happened.”  
Aria turned to face him and removed any space that was between them. Ulgy sobs sounded into his shoulder, “She’s dead.” was all Aria mustered.  
Blackwall felt his heart stop and his breath rush out of him. He had no idea who she was talking about; that bothered him as it was a hard reminder that as much as Aria appeared to wear her heart on her sleeve, her past was as buried as his. What did he know about her outside of being a noble in both title and morality?  
“Her name was Mia. At least that’s what she had me call her. By all that is good she made the best damn cinnamon cakes you would ever eat. She was also a beautiful poet. She would read to me by starlight. She was my North Star, my light in the dark.” Aria cried.  
His arms embraced her tightly while a hand stroked her nut brown hair, “She sounds like an amazing woman. You cared deeply for her.”  
Aria let out what sounded like half a chuckle, “We were going to runaway together and live in Rivain or find some desert Oasis to live in together. Somewhere where no one could touch us, tell us no. Someplace were love was permitted. That’s what she would say to me every night when she would sneak into my room to steal a kiss. I promised her I would find a way to take her dancing. She always wanted to know what it was like to wear one of those large gowns and move across a marble floor while a band played.”  
Blackwall smiled into her hair, “Sounds like something out of a love story. May I ask –”  
“My parents found out. You can’t imagine how embarrassed they were that their youngest daughter was spending time with another woman, and worse and elf! Oh the scandal was too much for them. So they did the proper thing and sent her off. Like she was some used furniture!” she growled into his shoulder, “Liliana said she was killed by a an angry mob raiding her alienage.”  
Aria slammed her hand into him angerly, “She deserved better! I promised her better.”  
Blackwall Squeezed her tightly and kissed her forehead. Why was the Maker so cruel to those who didn’t deserve it?  
“I should have looked harder for her. I should have never returned when I couldn’t find her the first time! I killed her. I killed her.”  
“No, those bastards killed her, not you. Don’t ever blame yourself,” Blackwall said into her hair, “Did those bastards find justice?”  
Aria shook her head, “No apparently the guard couldn’t do much because it wasn’t clear who took part in the killing during the riot.”  
His kissed her head again, he would talk to Liliana, if anyone could find the who took part it was their spy master.  
“I don’t want to say I know what Mia thought, but it sounds like she loved a great deal and would be upset if you caught a cold out here crying about her.” Blackwall murmured.  
He felt Aria nod under his chin and before she could pull away he swept her off her feet and started to head to her quarters while holding her bridal style.  
“wha – what are you doing?” Aria sniffled.  
Blackwall smiled weakly, “You carry enough, let this be the one time someone carried you and the weight of your pains.”  
He carried her all the way up to her room without complaint and gently lowered her onto her bed; where he removed her boots and socks. After he looked to her for premission to continue and when it was granted he undid her top and helped her out of it and then slide her pants off. There was no grace or flirtation to his motions. When she was in nothing but her small clothes he pulled down the covers and snuggled her in like a worried love might do.  
“Look at you playing the hero. You just can’t help it can you?” She mused.  
“I’m not a hero.” Blackwall replied as he kissed her forehead.  
“Yes you are. You’re always sweeping in to save me when I need it. I should have been more like you to Mia…”  
Blackwall squeezed one of her hands, “No, never wish you were more like me. You walk in dawns light, and there you should stay.”  
Before Aria could respond he kissed her lips softly, lightly to silence her. It was a friendly kiss, “Sleep My Lady. Time doesn’t wait for us to grieve.”  
****  
The next morning woke to a smell she hadn’t had the pleasure of smelling in years. She sat up and on her desk sat a tray with two small cinnamon cakes with icing and a small bundle of dried lilac next to them. Aria quickly got out of bed and almost tripped over her sheets in the processes. The cakes were clumsily made, but there tell tale signs someone had help. Tears filled her eyes as she grabbed one. They weren’t hers but the sentiment behind them was kind.  
“Not a hero my ass. Maybe in another life you will want to love me. I can only hope.”


	2. Gray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from Tumblr.

The difference between gray and grey was varying amounts of black and white in the shade. For it to be gray it needed more white and to grey was to have more black. That’s why he was Grey Warden. Because there was more dark then there was light in his life. There were stains he thought would never be washed away, he wouldn’t let them.   
But the drapes that hung over Skyhold were the wrong shade, the shade that dripped from her lips was gray, not grey. The black was being chased away and he couldn’t grip it hard enough to make it stay.   
The daughter of heaven, the daughter of dawn; her light was too much for even his darkest of memories. How she allowed him to bathe in her light and drink in her smile, to hunger for her kisses. She allowed him to feel forgiven. Soon he would gray like the gray that was slowly starting to creep into his hair. A gray that is more like silver than coal.   
When did his grey start to fade away? Was it when the truth came flying out like a winter’s wind comes rushing into a home when a door is carelessly opened? Or was it when he first saw her light and she graced his ears with her voice? He couldn’t say.  
"Lost in thoughts are we?" Aria asked playfully.  
Blackwall pulled himself from his thoughts. It astounded him how one person could walk into another’s life and constantly throw them into deep thoughts. He had forgot he sat in her room while she bathed. She stood before him in only a simple towel.   
He smiled, “Do you know the difference between gray and grey?”  
Aria rubbed her chin, “No, what makes them different outside of slightly sounding different?”  
Blackwall reached out and pulled her closer to him; she stood between his legs, “For some a world of difference.”  
"Oh? Why don’t you tell me. I honestly had no idea. Art wasn’t my strong point much to my mother’s disappointment."  
He gently picked up one of her hands and pressed it to his lips, even just getting out of a bath her skin burned against his like a brand. The sun she placed in his heart flaring up at the connection. His lips started to trail up her arm.  
"If you don’t mind, I rather show you." He whispered.  
Aria climbed onto him, her knees resting on both sides on him, digging into the sofa, “I prefer showing over telling.” she said with a grin as her hot breath tickled his neck.  
There she went again, taking some of his black away, soon he wondered if not only would he be gray but his wall would lose it’s black as well.


	3. I'm with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another prompt from Tumblr.

Could a man truly repent for his past? Truly be forgiven? Or were they lies one told himself in the dead of night as a pitiful excuse to keep on living when far worthier were dead?  
It had to be the last one, Blackwall thought. Because in the years he roamed Thedas he never felt like he was living up to the name he took. Maker, why wasn’t it him? The world didn’t need to lose another good man, and Andraste help him the pain on her face when she found out she loved a lie; he wished the most painful death on himself for causing that look.  
Why did he agree to join the Inquisition? He knew it was too much a risk. Blackwall shook his head in his hands, he knew why he joined. He joined because he thought that it was the chance to become what he wanted to be, what he should have been so many years ago. Because honey sweet eyes looked into his dead blue ones and asked him. His heart stopped the moment he heard her call out to him. And it fell into her hands the moment he saw her fight.   
Such a fool he was to think of love when all he was, was a lie. To think he should dare have the personal affections of a woman who walks in the dawn’s light.   
But despite all this, even after the black on his walls were revealed she came before him like some spirit of compassion who can see the change in a man and knows how to do something mortals do not; to forgive. She believed that whatever he was then, he was a hero now. That Thom did die that day.  
"I’m with you. I’m with you until the end. Until you no longer want me or my love and loyalty for you ask of my life. I will storm the Black City if you ask. As long as I’m with you, I can truly believe I am a better man."  
That’s all he could tell her and yet it didn’t seem enough. But Aria’s lips finding his told him it was enough. He was enough, not matter what he thought.


End file.
